‘He is such a prince charming, He really loves me and care for me’ ‘ He knows what I want even before I say a word. He buy me gifts and flowers even though I never ask for it’. Here, Look at this picture’, She flips through her photo gallery and showed me a picture where they both were standing on a beach, holding hands and smiling at each other. That was a perfect click; I liked it. ‘You know I love blue eyes and see ! I got one with the blue eyes’. Nina chattered happily while sipping fruit punch.
‘How are you so sure about it?’ I asked curiously. Off course, Her happiness matters but I was being overprotective and I think that’s my right because she is my best mate.
‘Oh ! come on, He said he loves me and he will do anything for me. He’s really into me and now he wants to marry me’. She smiled and I saw her eyes sparkling with love. I prayed for her happiness, silently.
‘Okay ! but I still want you to be careful and don’t believe every word of him, you know my tag line “Expectations lead to disappointment”? I tried to warn her even though I was happy for her. She told me about wedding plans and the bridal shower. we spent quality time discussing pros and cons of wedding and stuff.
‘How are you?, how is your family? do he loves you the way he used to before?’ I bombarded her with questions because we have met after 4 months and I was so excited to see her that I forgot to see that she has changed a lot.
‘Yeah, He is good to me because I serve him and cook for him and his family’. she said gloomily. ‘and love you once told me about?’ I asked eagerly.
‘Love? Well, Not everything meant for you even though how hard you try. That was a lie and I was imprudent to believe his every word. He wanted to marry me not because, he loved me but because, his mother wanted a son and his first wife has burdened him with two daughter’.
She was sad and lost in the sea of coldness,..’you were right..she went on, expectations lead to disappointment’ she said skeptically……
‘It’s your fault, You shouldn’t have gone to that concert/party in the first place. ‘When you knew it wouldn’t be a segregated event, you should have avoided it and stayed home.’. These lines are quite familiar and often heard and said whenever there’s a case of harassment. Harassment is a stereotyped problem and now, more prevalent in our society. It is complex, subtle and highly subjective. When some stranger or even, someone you know, physically or mentally abuse someone just to scare them or to get things done for them. Inappropriate touch, catcalls in the middle of the street, or even staring at people like it’s the last thing to do on this planet earth. To provoke someone just because it’s a pleasure is plain stupidity and, In my opinion, that person is a psychopath and nothing else.
The problem is within the mindset. It’s etched in the minds of people to blame the victim especially when it’s a girl and everyone loves to buy a stance without even knowing the real story. The eminent smile and compassion eyes which have a tint of coldness in it is enough to kill a person. It’s like adding insult to injuries. Hate to say but It is ruining lives and breaking hearts of many.
This matter has been overlooked in the past but now people are taking it to social media and raising awareness about it. It’s not a joke that we laugh over it and move on. It’s one of the serious issue that people don’t bother to discuss. Victim blaming is quite common in our society; be it a man or woman; If you are harassed or provoked by someone then, it’s your fault. No one even care for the outcome but they have to blame and, do everything possible to dehumanize someone. They end up saying:
‘han to larki ki bhe galti hogi, ase to koi nahe kisi ko tang karta’. ( Girl might has asked for it). Another one:
‘toh larki concert pa gaye he kun? pata tha na mix event tha’ also,
‘toh ase bahir kun nikli, Hijab kun nahe lia usne’ ( Girls must cover themselves up to avoid harassment).
How is that even making sense? Yes, that’s right, It doesn’t make any sense. How in the world victim blaming is the right thing to do? WHY? Why victim is always taught to shut up and hide? why not tell the world? why not teach the harasser a good lesson? The uproar on social media shook me and made me write this blog. Everyone was victim blaming and saying ‘these girls should have avoided this & that’ Nobody has ever asked for harassment or rape, NOBODY. I have seen girls losing confidence, pushed to walls because they bring the bad name to society even when it’s not their fault. ridiculous? I know right.
According to Audre Lord:
“ your silence will not protect you”.
Don’t ever tell victim to seal his/her mouth. DON’T. This bigotry of victim blaming needs to stop. I have seen people hiding themselves in the shadow of their guilt, unnecessary guilt, I have seen ’em drinking remorse for no reason. They have killed themselves, buried their soul in self imposed unworthiness because they couldn’t face the society. Engulfing in a remorse which has already proved self destructive weapon for them. The point which I am trying to make here is, Don’t force anyone into shackles of guilt. NEVER. People who have gone through or going through worst need our support not victim blaming rhetoric played again and again until they become homo suicidal. Yes, That’s true; people taking their own lives because they can’t handle that much pressure, either self imposed or forced upon them by society. Thinking approach needs to change through education. It will take centuries but I am hopeful it will get changed one day.
I pray to GOD that whoever and where ever, is facing all this, get a peaceful life ahead. May their miseries end soon and they become normal humans like us. Anyone who is reading this, is precious, beautiful and full of life. Yes, you need to break these shackles and say goodbye to miseries. Learn to live to your life they way you want. No one can stop you from going ahead. Don’t stay in those walls, step out, feel the sunshine. It’s for you.
“The secret of change is to focus all of your energy, not on the fighting the old, but building the new”.
Hey all ! I’m super excited because I have been nominated for Liebster award by this pretty lady https://writer953.wordpress.com. she is amazing, check out her blogs. they are awesome. She is a fabulous photographer, you need to check out her photography skills. I bet you all will love it and poetry too. I owe her one seriously. Well, It’s a great thing to know; when you’re a new blogger and suddenly, someone nominates you for this award. It’s a great feeling to connect with each other. In the meantime, I thought to write something about me because that’s the first rule of this award. When I first started writing blogs, I didn’t get much attention or you can say feedback . It was a hard time for me cause’ there were always some mistakes that my few friends were pointing out. I worked on that mistakes and still learning. WELL, Now people appreciate my blogs and encourage me to keep up this great work. Yeah, I’m happy now..! Few of my friends who really helped me polishing my skills are yaseer, Areeba ( check out her novel on whattpad) https://t.co/nSQBO3ak9I, Mishaal and Nimrah. I think without them I won’t be able to do this much. I owe them everything. when I signed up here, I followed some good people and they also helped me a lot. What I believe is, criticism good or bad should be appreciated because that’s how you learn. I did.
11 Facts about me !
I’m Mehwysh Awan and 24 y/o business student. (graduated now)
I am a good secret keeper.
I love chocolates and Chicken. (can’t survive without them) honestly.
I am a straight forward girl.
I don’t usually plan, I just do whatever I want to do.
I can’t share food, never.
I’m neither too conservative nor too liberal.
I hate Kingdom reptile. I would kill myself rather than hold a snake in my hand .
I love reading and writing. I will stand in the middle of the road and read if I find something interesting written on some car.:P
My aim is to tour this world alone.
I want to become an independent girl financially and that’s what really matters to me now
Now the answers asked by Parvathi Vijay:
That memory which is quite close to your heart? When I won the first prize in Qirat (Recitation of Quran) at the age of 10.
A person you always wished to be and the reason for that? Nope, I don’t want to become anyone. I want to have my own identity.
Your long cherished dream? World Tour.
That one evil among people which you badly want to be removed? Intolerance. I want people to be a bit tolerant so that we don’t have to kill anyone for petty issues.
Tell me three things from your bucket list? World tour. want to watch a match at Camp Nou and Setting up a chocolate factory for me.:P
Any supernatural power you always wanted to have? I wanna have a magic wand so that I can mend people’s evil hearts.
Your hidden passion which you are afraid to reveal because you feel that you might be mocked at? Want to become a footballer..:P
Your greatest talent? I can sleep all day, all night without getting tired.
Bike or car? BOTH.
That one person whom you would take with you as your traveling partner? My BFF Zahra.
Are you afraid of death? NO.
If you have been nominated for The Liebster Award AND YOU CHOOSE TO ACCEPT IT, write a blog post about the Liebster award in which you:
Thank the person who nominated you, and post a link to their blog on your blog. Try to include a little promotion for the person who nominated you. They will thank you for it and those who you nominate will also help you out as well.
Display the award on your blog — by including it in your post and/or displaying it using a “widget” or a “gadget”. (Note that the best way to do this is to save the image to your own computer and then upload it to your blog post.)
From the past many years; Pakistan is facing a huge problem and that is terrorism.. we lost millions because of terrorism. It’s such an evil that is consuming our country. It’ s basically a mindset that has prevailed far and wide. You can buy a person in few pennies and deal’s done; there he is, ready to blow himself up for the sake of 72 Virgins. Yes, that’s how they brainwash their prey and get their filthy job done. According to some terrorists who claim themselves as “Taliban”, They have assumed this as ‘serving the religion’. Absolutely outrageous lie. I mean, who on earth serve HIS religion by attacking innocents and invading their land for no particular reason?. Their main aim is to create anarchy on the orders of their ‘Masters’.
A mother waiting for her child, who has yet to return from school, a father hoping to rejoin his family at evening tea. A sister waiting for his brother to escort him to her tuition center. A wife waiting for his husband so that they can have lunch together.Nobody is certain of their breaths once they leave the home. Returning safely is a blessing, a new life in itself. This fear has a huge impact on people’s behavior. This has ruined our society completely. We have become intolerant and dead..whatever happens; we mourn it for a day and move on..No questions, if’s n but’s. No research and no solutions. NOTHING. We are just like a storm that makes its way through the sand and build up another dune while destroying the previous one.
The irony is unmistakable here. You see, we are suffering from mind slavery. This terrorism thing needs to be stopped by means because we cannot let our people die for their war..I mean what’s our fault that we happen to die for everyone. Why are we presenting ourselves as “Pig for slaughter”? Mindset needs to change big time.
It’s high time we should raise our voice against such atrocities and deal with it with iron -clad hand. Our Govt needs to open her eyes and do something practically to secure this land, OUR LAND. They are accountable to us because we chose them. There must be a strong and transparent accountability system so, these culprits do not get away easily..! …